Sorted and Consorted with a Sorting Hat
by hrhrionastar
Summary: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. From Lily Evans to Scorpius Malfoy.
1. Lily Evans

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. Will include more characters.

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"Evans, Lily!"

---

'Interesting…you're very opinionated, you know.'

_I don't know what you mean. And aren't you supposed to be telling me where I belong?_

'Only you can decide that. Still, I'll have a look…lots of courage, very sure of your ideals…smart, intuitive…not willing to put in the hard work, though, definitely not Hufflepuff…and you certainly don't belong in Ravenclaw, you'd hate the excessive studying, not to mention the abstract debates—you're shrewd, I can see that…'

_My best friend thinks I should be in Slytherin. They look a little scary, though._

'Would that stop you?'

_N-no…Look, can't you just tell me where I fit in? Before next week? I have classes to go to, you know._

'Insecure, eh? Muggle-borns—always think the school's made some kind of mistake…'

_No, it's not that…exactly. Why__ not__ Slytherin? I can do it…_

'Absolutely not—those snakes would eat you alive. There's only one place you belong—

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	2. Severus Snape

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. Now updated to include 70s slang!

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"Snape, Severus!"

….

'So you're Miss Evans' friend.'

_So what if I am? Just do it, already—put me in Slytherin._

'Is that what you really want?'

_Doesn't matter. That's where I belong. _

'Is it?'

_You know it is._

'You have courage, my young friend. And brains. And you're willing to put in the work to get what you want.'

_So, what? You're saying I could go anywhere? Then put me in Gryffindor. With her._

'I'm afraid not.'

_Why not?_

'That's not the kind of courage I mean.'

_Get bent._

'Be careful what you wish for…

"SLYTHERIN!"


	3. Sirius Black

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge.

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"Black, Sirius!"

--

'Yet another Black…I remember your parents, your cousins…'

_My ancestors dating back to the Dark Ages. All in Slytherin. Tell me something I don't know._

'All right. You could be an excellent Slytherin.'

_But…?_

'But you could also succeed somewhere else. Not Ravenclaw, of course—you're much too impatient for that. Nor Hufflepuff—you're not as loyal as you imagine. Nor as hard-working.'

_Which leaves Gryffindor. My parents will flip. Do it!_

'Aren't you the youthful rebel? All right. I hope you find your real friends in—

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	4. Remus Lupin

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge.

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"Lupin, Remus!"

--

'Quiet, studious, polite, eager to start classes…werewolf?!'

_What has that got to do with anything?_

'Nothing, sorry, Mr. Sensitive…'

_Please don't tell anyone._

'I'm a Hat. Who would I tell? Other than people I Sort into Houses, so, technically, I suppose I could blab it to all of Wizarding Britain…'

_I'm taking this Hat off. Maybe I could give it to the Slytherins, they look mean and angry enough to rip a priceless magical artifact in half…_

'That's quite enough of that, young man. Where was I? Ah, yes, your House—after that little threat, perhaps I should send you to join the Slytherins…'

_If you think I can learn best there._

'I don't, more's the pity: no, it's either Ravenclaw or Gryffindor. No way am I putting you in Hufflepuff—what a waste of potential that would be. Well? Got a preference?'

_Not really._

'Come on…no prejudices you learned at your parents' knees? No new friends on the train who I've already Sorted? Just pick one.'

_It really doesn't matter?_

'Not to me. Of course, to you it will matter enormously—but either should do the trick, as far as your school years go.'

_And after that no one will care what House I was in_.

'Boy, do you have a lot to learn…'

_I don't know why you're still in a huff—you started it. But, if it's up to me—I pick Gryffindor._

'Excellent choice—after all, it was quite brave of you to threaten me, Godric Gryffindor's own Hat. Go on—

"GRYFFINDOR!"

---

"How'd it go? Lupin, right? You were up there for a long time."

"I don't think the Sorting Hat likes me."


	5. Peter Pettigrew

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge.

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"Pettigrew, Peter!"

--

_Put me in Gryffindor. Please, please, please with sugar on top put me in Gryffindor…_

'May I ask why? I don't just Sort people on demand, you know. Give me evidence in support of your case.'

_See, James, he's my best friend, and he's right after me in line, and he's positive he's going to be in Gryffindor—_

'People have been wrong about their House before. And, of course, there's nothing wrong with having friends in different Houses. You do know that, right?'

_Sure, sure…like James will still hang out with me if I'm not in Gryffindor. Help me out here, please._

'Let me actually do my job first.'

_Okay, I guess._

'You're quite loyal to this James of yours. You have a streak of cunning, and an even wider streak of common sense—whew, haven't seen that last one in awhile. You have an excellent survival instinct.'

_Are you saying I'm not brave enough for Gryffindor?_

'On the contrary, your desire to be in a House of reckless, brash action, in light of your habit of looking before you leap, is quite courageous. I'm just not sure it's the right place for you.'

_Sure it is, if I'm as brave as you said. I know I'm not smart enough for Ravenclaw, or hard-working enough for Hufflepuff, or cunning enough for Slytherin._

'You know that, do you? Well…perhaps you're right. Although if your friend doesn't join you, you will be disappointed.'

_He will. You don't know James. It's not even a question—he belongs in Gryffindor._

'All right, if you're sure—

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	6. James Potter

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge.

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"Potter, James!"

---

_Put me in Gryffindor. You know you want to…_

'Not so fast, young man. You have a keen, if underused, intellect, and you're extremely loyal to your friends.'

_What's your point? I belong in Gryffindor—like my Dad. And most of my family, to be honest._

'Again, your loyalty knows no bounds. Furthermore, your kind heart will stand you in good stead one day.'

_Aw, please put me in Gryffindor? That'll be where I make those lifelong friends for sure. And you wouldn't want to be the cause of my dwindling into a friendless, thankless, slavish, pathetic little Hufflepuff, now would you? I thought you had heart, Hat._

'You have a point there…you're rather too much for Hufflepuff to handle. You don't care about knowledge for knowledge's sake, so Ravenclaw is right out, and there's not a deceitful bone in your body—which rules out Slytherin. That's in spite of your excellent tactics.'

_You noticed that, huh? _

'Enjoy yourself—and please, try for a little moderation—in…

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	7. Bellatrix Black

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. Also, the first six were basically Harry's parents and co. Now we go into the Black-Malfoy older generation section.

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"Black, Bellatrix!"

---

_Put me in Slytherin_.

'Wait just a minute there, young lady—aren't you going to let me do my job?'

_Why should I? You're a Hat. And my entire family has been in Slytherin. It's obvious that's where I should go._

'Let's just make sure, shall we? Hmm…you're certainly no Ravenclaw. Haven't got any patience for studying. And you're no Hufflepuff—no patience with people, either. You've got a strong thirst to prove yourself, and complete confidence that you can do it, too.'

_So? _

'So, I don't think this has ever happened before. We have a tie. Gryffindor or Slytherin? It's your choice.'

_You know what I want._

'Very well. I just hope you don't regret this…Learn to control your passions in—

"SLYTHERIN!"


	8. Andromeda Black

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. Also, the first six were basically Harry's parents and co. Now we go into the Black-Malfoy older generation section.

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"Black, Andromeda!"

--

'Intriguing. You're not like your sister. And you're certainly not a Gryffindor.'

_What do you mean I'm not like Bellatrix?_

'Well…you're reasonably patient, you frequently play the role of the peace-maker, and you like books for their own sake.'

_Oh. Well, I guess you're right._

'Right? Of course I'm right! I'm the Sorting Hat. Now: Hufflepuff? Ravenclaw? Where to put you?'

_Bella'll kill me if I'm not in Slytherin._

'Hmmm…you could do well in the house of the serpents, there's no doubt about that…I hope you don't lose your patience in—

"SLYTHERIN!"


	9. Lucius Malfoy

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. Also, the first six were basically Harry's parents and co. Now we go into the Black-Malfoy older generation section. Fun fact: Lucius Malfoy was 41 in 1995 (in book five) which means he was born in 1954, probably the same year as Andromeda Black.

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"Malfoy, Lucius!"

--

'Well. You are ambitious.'

_Naturally. I am a Malfoy, after all._

'Yes…you are most definitely looking out for number one. You really should consider other people's feelings once in a while—they'll like you better.'

_Why should I need them to like me? I hope you're not going to give me some sort of egalitarianism lecture à la Dumbledore. Can't you just Sort me already? After all, you've been doing it a thousand years—you'd think you'd have worked out an efficient strategy by now._

'Fine. Hufflepuff? No chance. Ravenclaw? I seriously can't see it. Gryffindor? Well…no.'

_That's a relief. I'm glad you're not going to be difficult. I was practically Sorted at birth, you know._

'Yes, yes…entire family, generations, blah blah blah…I Sorted them, so I know. That doesn't entitle you to a place in the House to which you refer—although, honestly, I can't think where else to put you.

_Excellent._

'Will you shut up so I can Sort you?'

…

"SLYTHERIN!"


	10. Narcissa Black

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. Also, the first six were basically Harry's parents and co. Now we go into the Black-Malfoy older generation section.

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"Black, Narcissa!"

--

'Ah, yes. Another Black. Vain, picky to a fault, supercilious, disdainful…'

_Are you quite finished? It's bad enough that I have to wear this ridiculous, moth-ridden, dirty old Hat when countless other people—filthy Mudbloods, some of them—have worn it. They never wash it, I expect. Oh, this is such a traumatizing experience! Is my hair all right? Anyway, not content with that, it starts insulting me! There are going to be some changes around here if I have anything to say about it._

'Yes, that's quite enough out of you. Honestly, you kiss your mother with that mouth?'

_Have you met my mother?_

'Ah. Good point. Moving swiftly along—Gryffindor, definitely not—you're hardly chivalrous, and the very idea of all that reckless, devil-may-care bravery makes you cringe—Hufflepuff, ha! I'll leave it at that—Ravenclaw—you've got the brains for it, but not the motivation—yep, it'll definitely have to be—'

_Oh, thank Salazar! I can't wait to wash my hair—_

"SLYTHERIN!"


	11. Regulus Black

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. Also, the first six were basically Harry's parents and co. Now we go into the Black-Malfoy older generation section.

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"Black, Regulus!"

--

'How shocking. You're scared stiff. Don't worry, I don't bite.'

_For twelve months, I've been dreading this moment. I know I have to make a choice—a choice that will determine everything that matters to me most for the rest of my life!_

'Whew. Isn't that a little overdramatic? For one thing, you don't get to choose. I do.'

_You don't understand. Either I join my brother in Gryffindor, or the rest of my family in Slytherin. Either way, I'll lose someone dear to me. I'm caught in the middle between two incredibly powerful forces—_

'Or I might decide you belong in Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff.'

_Oh, that would be worse than anything! I'd lose them all, then!_

'You've really never heard of the concept of House unity, have you?'

_My father says that's just Dumbledore's line he feeds the Ministry. And Narcissa and Bellatrix—who's graduated now, but still—neither of them will even talk to Sirius. And, last time we had a family holiday together, Sirius jinxed Bellatrix's favorite Dark Arts books to burst into flames whenever she touched them! Six of them burned to a crisp before she worked out the counter-spell._

'I see…well, unpleasant as that foray into your family's troubled past was, let us move on to the present. You are no Ravenclaw—studying bores you. Hufflepuff is for more innocent souls than yours. And Gryffindor smacks too much of the rebel. You want to please them all. The sooner you learn you can't, the happier you'll be. Find your true path in—

"SLYTHERIN!"


	12. Hermione Granger

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. And now, Harry's generation, beginning with his favorite (and least favorite) classmates!

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"Granger, Hermione!"

--

'What a fine mind and keen intellect! Not to mention a strong sense of duty and respect for rules and regulations. Interesting.'

_This is the Sorting Hat! I read all about it in Hogwarts, A History! It used to belong to Godric Gryffindor, only he put a spell on it so it would be able to Sort students into different Houses! It's been Sorting for over a thousand years now! Supposedly it occasionally gives the wearer a choice as to which House they want to belong to!_

'Of course I give people a choice—it gets boring when I have to do everything for them. Not to mention how unhealthy it is for a developing psyche not to have any say over his or her destiny. Speaking of which, have you got a preference?'

_Well, I've read all about the different Houses, and Gryffindor seems to be the best. You-Know-Who was in Slytherin, you know! Can you imagine! Evil—really evil—and so of course everyone knows that Slytherins can't be trusted, according to what I've read._

'Slytherins can't be trusted, and Gryffindor is far superior to all others—what books have you been reading?'

_Well, there was The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts, Great Wizarding Events of the Twentieth Century, The—_

'Never mind; I'm sorry I asked. Moving swiftly along past your newly-garnered prejudice—which you learned from a book! Let none say that education breaks down all barriers—let's consider Hufflepuff. But no. Out of the question, I'm afraid.'

_Why? I'm hardworking! I've already memorized most of our textbooks! And, I've tried out several spells and been successful, which is more than I can say for the ginger-haired kid. _

'Just trust me—you're simply not the 'meek-will-inherit-the-earth' type. Which leaves Ravenclaw or Gryffindor. I really should put you in Ravenclaw—you're intelligent, opinionated, and ready to debate philosophy with the best of them. And yet…"

_What? I bet I could be an excellent Ravenclaw! That's where the smart people go! Still, Gryffindor seems to have it all—bravery, a winner's mentality…and you know Professor Dumbledore was in Gryffindor!_

'Yes. I did actually know that.'

_I'm just so excited to be here! I can't wait for classes to start! I know I'm going to beat that ginger-haired kid in every test. Today has been the best day ever!_

'Well—you have the brains for Ravenclaw, but your forthright attitude and definite opinions on everything known to Wizardkind—not to mention your soft-spot for the underdog—have earned you a place in—

_Ooh! Wow!_

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	13. Neville Longbottom

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. And now, Harry's generation, beginning with his favorite (and least favorite) classmates!

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"Longbottom, Neville!"

--

'There's no need to be nervous. I'm just going to read your thoughts and send you to the appropriate House, where you'll live, learn, and make new friends for the next seven years.'

_Right! Nothing to be worried about there! _

'Exactly. So why are you still shaking? Afraid of your grandmother's disapproval, I understand. She always was a bit of a perfectionist. She raised you, I see—ten years and she still thinks you ought to be a reincarnation of your father.'

_He was in Gryffindor, which means I should be, too, except I'm really not very brave or any of the rest of it._

'Sure you are—in fact, you're very brave, because you have just a bit of that rare, dangerous quality, common sense. Just enough to know when it's really safer not to make a fool out of yourself. Not enough not to do it, though.'

_Oh._

'Not to worry, I'm not finished yet—you also have a fine sense of family loyalty and personal integrity, both of which suggest Hufflepuff.'

_Oh, no—Gran will hate it if I'm in Hufflepuff!_

'Or there's always Ravenclaw—but no. I'm sorry, but you simply don't have the intellectual curiosity or the near-instant intuitive understanding of certain unassailable facts about the world that characterize most Ravenclaws.'

_You mean I'm not smart enough. I know. So that leaves Gryffindor, right?_

'Not so fast—there's also Slytherin to consider. Buried deep within your subconscious mind, you do have an ardent desire to prove yourself—to show that you are, in fact, no weakling. Also, you've already realized that silence is sometimes the best policy, and that people are more likely to do what you want if they think it was their idea in the first place. Cunning.'

_I don't belong in Slytherin—just look at them. They'd eat me alive!_

'Oh, you would learn to fight back. Still, it would be a struggle. Too much for you?'

_Can't you tell?_

'Of course—I can read your mind, after all. Very well. We seem to have exhausted all relevant avenues of inquiry.'

_Does that mean you'll put me in Gryffindor? Or that I don't fit in anywhere, and I actually don't even have enough magic to be here in the first place?_

'The former.'

_Huh?_

'Learn to be at peace with yourself and your own shortcomings in—

"GRYFFINDOR!"

--

"That took forever. Longbottom, right? What happened?"

"We just...talked."


	14. Draco Malfoy

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. And now, Harry's generation, beginning with his favorite (and least favorite) classmates!

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"Malfoy, Draco!"

--

_Excellent, the Sorting Hat. Now you'll put me in Slytherin with all my new friends—and far away from Boy Wonder over there._

'Usually, I resent predictions like that. But in your case, I'm prepared to make an exception.'

_Excellent._

'You see, you're very cunning, learnt strategy at your father's knee (and hair care at your mother's), believe firmly in your right to certain extra privileges and opportunities, and plan to get what you want and do exactly what you like. In some ways, you are the perennial Slytherin.'

_Why, thank you. I completely agree._

'Still…'

_Still, what?_

'Still, a number of these traits might be said to apply to Gryffindor, as well. You are no Hufflepuff, I'm afraid—just not a hard worker. Nor are you interested in learning for learning's sake.'

_Gryffindor? Isn't that the House of the brainless gits, blood-traitor brats, and uppity Mudbloods?_

'Do not think curses while I am Sorting you.'

_Whatever._

'That's it: I can't hold out any longer. Do try for a little patience, tolerance, and understanding in—

_Ooh, good!_

"SLYTHERIN!"


	15. Ron Weasley

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. And now, Harry's generation, beginning with his favorite (and least favorite) classmates!

Also, thank you to all my loyal reviewers, who review almost every chapter! I really appreciate it! You know who you are!

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"Weasley, Ronald!"

--

'Another Weasley. Take after your brothers, do you?'

_I dunno. _

'Well, let's get this show on the road—you certainly don't belong in Ravenclaw, I can't stress that enough…Slytherin would destroy your faith in yourself…Hufflepuff, perhaps—you are very loyal, you know. And you fundamentally want to do the right thing, even if your ideas of sacrifice are a little vague, at the moment. Or there's always the traditional route.'

_I'd rather be in Gryffindor._

'Even though you'll be overshadowed by those overachieving brothers of yours?'

_Yes. Definitely. I've got a new friend there, besides the family history. And anyway, I am brave. Aren't I?_

'You certainly are. Yes, you will find a loving and supportive home-away-from-home in—

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	16. Luna Lovegood

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. And now Harry's favorite (and least favorite) classmates!

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"Lovegood, Luna!"

_--_

_This is all very fascinating, of course. First the train ride, and then I glimpsed the thestrals, just like Daddy told me I would, and then traveling by boat, which was a new experience. I haven't seen too many Nargles around yet, which is good—except near Professor Lockhart—they're hovering around him rather uncertainly at the moment._

'Well. You are an original.'

_Thank you._

'May I just ask—Nargles?'

_Invisible creatures that attach themselves to anything particularly festive or powerfully magical. A few are harmless, but once they start piling up, a slight breeze can completely incapacitate anyone they've decided to attach themselves to. They tend to linger in mistletoe—probably because of its festive tradition, I think._

'Fascinating—yes, quite so. Let me see? Hufflepuff? Gryffindor?'

_Whatever you think is best. I can't wait to meet everyone! Do you think they like Gurdyroots, because I know how to make Gurdyroot ice cream! Just learned, last week. Daddy thought I might need a special snack—and sugar is a great way to bond with people. Did you know that, if you eat sugar with someone, you'll continue to regard them in a better light than usual for at least a week?_

'Okay, just let me think. Slytherin?'

_I've heard a lot about them. Why do you suppose they scowl so much? Don't they know frowning uses more muscles than smiling and causes wrinkles later in life? Of course, they could just not smile or frown, thereby not using any of those muscles and remaining impassive, which would probably do wonders for their image, don't you think?_

'Oh, who am I kidding? I hope you find your niche in—

"RAVENCLAW!"


	17. Ginny Weasley

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. And now Harry's favorite (and least favorite) classmates!

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"Weasley, Ginevra!"

--

'Well, well, well—seventh time's the charm. Think I'll finally be able to put a Weasley somewhere other than Gryffindor?'

_I doubt it. I'm very brave. You have to be, with six older brothers. _

'I see…there's a little kernel of resentment there you hide even from yourself. After all, that's the trouble with being the youngest—everyone else does everything first.'

_That's not the only trouble with being the youngest._

'Wow—a little bitter there, aren't you? And then there's all that power at your fingertips—such it is to be the seventh child. You don't know what to do with it yet, but you will. Very determined, a nice healthy dash of stubbornness…some fierce family loyalty…and a definite desire to rise above your name and situation in the world. You want to be Somebody.'

_So?_

'So, you're very ambitious, very powerful, and passably cunning. I really should put you in Slytherin.'

_No, you shouldn't. A Weasley, in Slytherin? They'd laugh themselves silly, and say you were getting senile. 'A thousand years or more' is an awfully long time, you know. Maybe they'd decide to retire you._

'Absolutely not! I'm a Hat! I can't get senile! And you, young lady, are clearly Slytherin material. It's either that or the house of your ancestors, that much is clear.'

_See? I knew you'd see it my way._

'You're brave enough, there's no doubt about that—and you have what it takes to succeed there. But you'll never be extraordinary in Gryffindor—not like you would be in Slytherin.'

_I don't care. I'd rather be an average Gryffindor than an amazing Slytherin. How's that for unambitious?_

'I'm afraid you'll always be ambitious—even when you don't know exactly what you want. Still, your bravery and innate kindness to the less fortunate make you an excellent choice for—

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	18. Astoria Greengrass

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. And now Harry's favorite (and least favorite) classmates! (Yes, I know Harry didn't actually know Astoria in school, but since she marries Draco and her sorting appears in my fic Breaking Free ...Voila!)

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"Greengrass, Astoria!"

….

'Interesting. Yes, indeed…plenty of courage, lots of faith in the world…you always believe the best of people. That's quite the gift.'

_Mmm._

'Yes…you could be great, but you're no warrior. Where do you belong?'

_My family has always been in Slytherin. Although it's not as though Daphne will have much time for me, wherever I go. She's already talking about boys, at home._

'Slytherin…it's not quite right…with your thirst for knowledge, you belong in—

"RAVENCLAW!"


	19. Teddy Lupin

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. We now move on to the NEXT GENERATION section. Meaning, Lupin, many, many Weasleys, a few Potters, and, of course, our very own Malfoy. To begin with...

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"Lupin, Teddy!"

…

'I knew your parents, boy.'

_You and the rest of the world._

'Do I detect a hint of bitterness?'

_What do you think?_

'All right—you're no Hufflepuff, I'm afraid. You leap first, look second, for one thing. Not a Ravenclaw trait, either, though you've got brains…you could do quite well in Slytherin—although you'd have to tone down the recklessness a tad—'

_So? You done yet?_

'Nearly. Allow me to finish.'

_Fine. Go ahead. Analyze me. Leave me here, bored out of my mind, starvingly hungry, and really not appreciating all the weird looks people keep giving my hair. It's completely fine. Take your time._

'I will.'

....

'All right—there's no choice, I'm afraid—you could handle Slytherin, but you'll be happier in—

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	20. Victoire Weasley

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. We now move on to the NEXT GENERATION section. Please note, I WILL be doing Fred and George Weasley (as well as Tom Riddle) at some point. Bear with me through the next gen characters. I'm quite fond of some of them.

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"Weasley, Victoire!"

--

'Another Weasley. The first of your generation, aren't you?'

_I guess so, yeah. You know, 'cept for Teddy, of course._

'Ah, yes—you're rather more tolerant than the usual Weasley—particularly of family idiosyncrasies. And you're incredibly loyal—more ambitious for others than for yourself. You would make an excellent Hufflepuff.'

_You don't think I belong in Gryffindor with the rest of the family? Did you know that not a single Weasley has been Sorted somewhere other than Gryffindor for six generations? I don't want to be the one to break our record._

'Why not? It's about time it should be broken, don't you think? If—just if—you were going to break the record, where would you go? Hufflepuff? Ravenclaw? Slytherin?'

_I suppose—hypothetically, anyway—I'd pick Slytherin, because, according to Uncle Harry, they can be very brave, and aren't as bad as everyone and Uncle Ron says. Also, if I were going to break with tradition, I'd want to do it in a big, bold way._

'Interesting. Ironically, that's rather a Gryffindor perspective. Still, let's have another look: Ravenclaw? No, that's simply not where your passion lies. You might be able to handle it, but you'd be miserable.'

_Well? You must know where you're going to put me by now._

'Very well. Do try for a little healthy self-interest and ambition in—

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	21. Dominique Weasley

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. We now move on to the NEXT GENERATION section. Please note, I WILL be doing Fred and George Weasley (as well as Tom Riddle) at some point. Bear with me through the next gen characters. I'm quite fond of some of them.

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"Weasley, Dominique!"

--

_Well? Aren't you going to put me in Gryffindor so we can get on with this farce?_

'Ooh, temperamental. Anxious on behalf of your fellow students? I believe there are two behind you in the queue. Or are you worried about what I'll see in your thoughts?'

_No way! Go ahead—read my mind. I am NOT worried._

'Ah, yes. You're afraid of seeming weak. You have an ardent thirst to prove yourself, and to show up your talented family.'

_What are you saying?_

'I'm saying you have a lot of hostility. Ever considered Slytherin?'

_Don't you dare!_

'Let's see: Ravenclaw? Nope, I'm afraid not…Hufflepuff? No, you lack the moral compass all Hufflepuffs carry around in a convenient pocket everywhere they go…'

_You have to put me in Gryffindor. I won't settle for less._

'So you're giving me orders now? How about that? Eleven years old and you think you can tell me how to do my job? Imagine what you'll be like as an adult.'

_If you don't put me in Gryffindor, I'll rip this hat in two._

'You will do no such thing! Luckily, I'm protected by magical wards no first year could possibly combat.'

_In that case, I'll wait until I've learned how, and then I'll rip you in half._

'In the old days, a remark like that would have sent you straight to Slytherin—now, however, Slytherin is no longer the House of ruthlessness and mercilessness. Furthermore, your threat has a certain crude simplicity which smacks of—'

_I knew you'd see it my way._

'Do pick up some kindness and selflessness somewhere along the way in—

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	22. Fred Weasley II

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. We now move on to the NEXT GENERATION section. Please note, I WILL be doing Fred and George Weasley (as well as Tom Riddle) at some point. Bear with me through the next gen characters. I'm quite fond of some of them.

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"Weasley, Frederick!"

--

'Another Weasley…you're the second I've Sorted today. Let's take a look…Hardworking, aren't you? And very loyal. And intelligent. You're not particularly cunning—your tactics are straightforward. And it certainly is brave of you to get involved in things you hate and fear. Why do you hide who you really are?'

_You're a mind-reader: you tell me. Just get on with it: I've got to be in Gryffindor._

'I thought I'd made it clear that you would do quite well in Hufflepuff.'

_I don't mean that—I don't care how great Hufflepuff would be for my personal development, or whatever. I've got to be in Gryffindor because of my fa—my parents._

'I see. And are you certain that's what you want?'

_Of course. It's a family thing. I'm a Weasley, after all._

'Well…all right, I suppose you are quite brave and chivalrous. I still say you need to be more self-aware, but perhaps you can learn that in—

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	23. James Sirius Potter

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. We now move on to the NEXT GENERATION section. Please note, I WILL be doing Fred and George Weasley (as well as Tom Riddle) at some point. Bear with me through the next gen characters. I'm quite fond of some of them.

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"Potter, James!"

---

'Another Potter…I Sorted your parents, you know.'

_Uh-huh. That's great. Did you also sort You-Know-Who?_

'You cheeky little—'

_Sorry. Couldn't resist._

'You may want to consider tact, just a thought. Still, your noticeable lack of it does remind me of your grandfather. That and the bravery ought to be enough to place you in Gryffindor. Without loss of time—'

_Wait a minute. Are you putting me in Gryffindor just to get rid of me? That's not very professional of you, is it? Aren't you going to tell me I'm too smart for everywhere except Ravenclaw, too hardworking not to be in Hufflepuff…Something about Slytherin...On second thought, don't mention Slytherin. My mother says they're awful. _

'Odd…I considered her for that House.'

_Really? She never said anything. _

'Your father as well.'

_Okay, now you're just trying to get me back for the You-Know-Who comment._

'I'm perfectly serious, young man.'

_Me too—I've always been Sirius._

'Okay, that's it—I'm Sorting you before you can interrupt again. Hopefully you'll learn some manners in—

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	24. Molly Weasley II

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. We now move on to the NEXT GENERATION section. Please note, I WILL be doing Fred and George Weasley (as well as Tom Riddle) at some point. Bear with me through the next gen characters. I'm quite fond of some of them.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Weasley, Margaret!"

--

'There's no need to be frightened, young lady. I'm going to Sort you into the appropriate House, and then you'll be off to make new friends and learn new things.'

_I'm not scared! I just—well—Dad told me it doesn't matter which House I'm in, since he was in Gryffindor and Mum was in Slytherin, which is about as controversial as you can get—but I really, really don't want to be in Hufflepuff! Not to mention the fact that Dominique will kill me if I'm in Slytherin!_

'I don't what you have against Hufflepuff. You could do very well there.'

_The name, for one thing. It sounds like a sneeze._

'Hmmm. An unreasonable, but not entirely incomprehensible prejudice. Still, your bubbly confidence and optimism would fit right in there. Or there's always Ravenclaw. But no. I'm afraid you wouldn't enjoy it.'

_I'm smart, aren't I? I mean, I know I'm not Rose smart, but that's sort of a high standard, you know? Even if she is only eight! She's precocious. _

'Slytherin…hmmm…I'm afraid not. You have quite an air of innocence. And you're a follower, not a leader, which means Slytherin would involve some soul-searching for you. Definitely Hufflepuff or the House of your ancestors.'

_Okay. I vote Gryffindor! I know I can do it! Besides, that's where Dominique and James and Fred and Victoire and Teddy are, and I want to hang out with them—they're amazing! Especially Dominique—she's so intense._

'I believe you.'

_And so, if you don't mind awfully, I'd really like to be in Gryffindor._

'All right, that seems reasonable. Perhaps you can cheer them up.'

_Thank you, Sir Hat!_

'You're welcome. Don't lose your carefree, innocent ways in—

"GRYFFINDOR!"

--------------------------------------------

_Note: No, the next gen characters are NOT all in Gryffindor. It just takes a lot (and an exceptionally courageous person) to overthrow those family stereotypes. _


	25. Louis Weasley

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. We now move on to the NEXT GENERATION section. Please note, I WILL be doing Fred and George Weasley (as well as Tom Riddle) at some point. Bear with me through the next gen characters. I'm quite fond of some of them.

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A Note about Names: Sometimes I put "Frederick" or "Margaret" even though we've only ever heard them referred to as "Fred" and "Molly." That's because I just think, even if everyone calls them the shorter version, their actual given name ought to be the longer version. Like "Ginny" for "Ginevra."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Weasley, Louis!"

--

'Aren't you a quiet one? No panicking over where I'm going to put you?'

_What difference does it make? All the Houses have Quidditch teams, don't they?_

'Yes. So that's your main priority, eh? You're certainly ambitious.'

_Whatever. Listen, there isn't any way I can get on the House team as a first-year, is there?_

'Not unless you're another Harry Potter. Reckless, talented, cunning, do well in Slytherin…'

_Me or Uncle Harry?_

'Both.'

_Not that I've got anything against Slytherin myself, but my dad'd probably freak._

'Well, there's always Ravenclaw—you're quite intelligent, and you have a very organized mind. Or Hufflepuff—you're hardworking. Not particularly loyal. No, I don't think Hufflepuff is the place for you. You're too driven for them. And Ravenclaw involves that added level of abstraction…'

_What about Gryffindor? I mean, that's where everyone in the family's ever been, right?_

'Technically you are incorrect, but I know what you mean. And you do have that dollop of recklessness and self-interest one finds in so many Gryffindors.'

_So there you go. I think we're done here._

'Very well. I still say you would make quite a reasonable Slytherin, but I suppose…'

_It's where I belong, you know. Besides, Uncle Harry got on the Quidditch team in his first year because Gryffindors view the rules more like guidelines, according to Aunt Audrey. It's perfect._

'I admire your sangfroid. And you already have a plan! Good luck, and branch out a bit in—

"GRYFFINDOR!"

--------------------------------------------

_Note: No, the next gen characters are NOT all in Gryffindor. It just takes a lot (and an exceptionally courageous person) to overthrow those family stereotypes. _


	26. Roxane Weasley

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. We now move on to the NEXT GENERATION section. Please note, I WILL be doing Fred and George Weasley (as well as Tom Riddle) at some point. Bear with me through the next gen characters. I'm quite fond of some of them--like Roxy ;)

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"Weasley, Roxane!"

--

_Has it ever occurred to you that this whole system of Sorting people into four different categories based upon which character trait is strongest or which thought uppermost in their minds at age eleven is unfair, stereotype-enabling, cruel, and ultimately fascist?_

'Honestly I can't say that it has, no.'

_You're just a symptom of the problem! A tool created and used by cowardly, selfish cretins in order to maintain some semblance of control over the world's population by brainwashing them all into thinking at age eleven that 'your House is your family' meaning, of course, 'your House is your destiny'! Really, if Slytherins are that bad, why not throw them all into Azkaban after you've Sorted them? It would make the paperwork a lot easier. _

'Well, not all Slytherins are evil, you know. If they were, I would say that in my song. As a qualification, you understand. Speaking of Houses, I really should Sort you so you can explain all these flaws in the system to the relevant authorities.'

_I doubt it'll do any good, but of course I'll have to, won't I? I mean, no one else seems to understand. I really would prefer to skip the Sorting altogether, you know. I loathe that, as a minor, I am forced to take part in this unjust and outdated ritual. However, as I don't have any choice, couldn't you just pick one randomly for me, instead of trying to define me with a word-or-two summary? What they really should do is organize it by last name—you know, A to G, Gryffindor. H to M, Hufflepuff. N to T, Ravenclaw. T to Z, Slytherin._

'So you want me to put you in Slytherin? Not a chance! You are a social reformer. Slytherins are more interested in self-aggrandizement. It's a bit of a toss up with the other three, though.'

_Weren't you listening? I thought, don't Sort me based on some two-word description of my character and life goals! My House doesn't determine who I really am!_

'Right, right. You're rather too sure of yourself for Hufflepuff. They're usually a little less…outgoing than you are. You're really not very self-effacing.'

_I resent this! I will figure out a way to get rid of this bias, this House-ism! There has to be a way…_

'And you're no Ravenclaw, in spite of your brilliant and creative mind.'

_This is unjust! Ridiculous! How my parents and grandparents and every relative I possess can have failed to realize the unfair bias of this 'personality test,' I haven't the faintest notion! _

'Yes, your passion, your drive and determination, your championship of hopeless causes, and your colossal stubbornness will fit well in—

_You are an outrage against tolerance, peace, and understanding!_

"GRYFFINDOR!"

--

"Roxane, what's the matter? You look really angry."

"That Hat had the effrontery to psychoanalyze me while I was explaining how unfair it is that the Wizarding world is divided into four categories which are supposed to determine your destiny, your morality, and your test scores."

"Wow. You're really weird."

"But don't worry, Roxy: we love you anyway."


	27. Scorpius Malfoy

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. We now move on to the NEXT GENERATION section. Please note, I WILL be doing Fred and George Weasley (as well as Tom Riddle) at some point. Bear with me through the next gen characters. I'm quite fond of some of them...

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"Malfoy, Scorpius!"

--

'Well, well, well…Another Malfoy. You have an extremely ordered mind.'

_Thank you. I think._

'Yes…very determined. Your personal goals mean a lot to you. Let's see, what are they?'

_I don't see how it's relevant. However, in case it is, my personal goals include, but are not limited to, honoring and upholding the family name (without being evil, so please don't go off in a tangent about my Great-Aunt Bellatrix), understanding the universe, and finding personal happiness._

'Comprehensive. Are you sure you're only eleven?'

_My mother says I'm very precocious._

'I don't doubt it. Like her, you would make an excellent Ravenclaw—but I'm afraid that wouldn't bring you the fame and fortune you seek.'

_I already have a fortune—according to Grandfather._

'That's not the kind of fortune to which I was referring. Albeit you can be courageous when you consider it necessary, you will find what you're looking for in—

_Excellent. Grandfather will be pleased._

"SLYTHERIN!"


	28. Albus Potter

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. We now move on to the NEXT GENERATION section. Please note, I WILL be doing Fred and George Weasley (as well as Tom Riddle) at some point. Bear with me through the next gen characters. I'm quite fond of some of them...

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"Potter, Albus!"

--

_Please, please put me in Gryffindor. _

'With your entire family? That's quite an impressive batch of cousins—and quite a loyal streak. You don't want to disappoint your father—you would make an excellent Hufflepuff.'

_No, I need to be in Gryffindor._

'Wait just one minute, young man—you have the intellectual skill and curiosity to make a magnificent Ravenclaw.'

_No, Gryffindor, I insist._

'You insist, eh? Has anyone ever told you that you're very like your father?'

_Of course, which is why you should put me in Gryffindor like him._

'I considered him for Slytherin, you know…'

_Yes, but he said you took his choice into account. Which is what I'm asking you to do for me. _

'Are you sure? You could be great, you know—the potential is there. And there's no House like Slytherin for greatness, remember that. Slytherin would raise you to heights you've never dreamed of—'

_And send me crashing down again, like as not. Aren't you listening to me?_

'Of course. The thought that an eleven-year-old might not actually know all there is to know about what House he belongs in does just occur to me.'

_Put me in Gryffindor or I'll leave; I haven't seen much here worth staying for anyway._

'Ooh, daring. You would really leave, just like that?'

_You heard me._

'Well, I suppose it does take a certain amount of courage, being Harry Potter's son, named after two of—what was it?—oh, yes: 'the greatest headmasters Hogwarts has ever seen.' Very well, Mr. Potter—just remember, be careful what you wish for in—

_Thank you, thank you, thank you!_

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	29. Lucy Weasley

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. We now move on to the NEXT GENERATION section. Please note, I WILL be doing Fred and George Weasley (as well as Tom Riddle) at some point. Bear with me through the next gen characters. I'm quite fond of some of them...

Ha! You thought I was going to post Rose next! Don't worry, she's right after Lucy in line!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"Weasley, Lucia!"

--

_Okay, let's get this show on the road. Rose is right after me in line, and I don't want to waste more time. Do you know how hard it is, having your last name start with 'W'?_

'Never having had a last name, I can't say that I do. You're all business. Trying to rush me into a decision?'

_No-o…it's just, we both know where I'm going to end up. Wouldn't it be easier to cut to the chase?_

'Easier, perhaps. More fun? Hardly.'

_You're different than I expected._

'Thank you.'

_Do you always do this? Hold an entire conversation with a person? Because my Uncle Ron told me the faster the Hat decides where to put you, the more you belong in that House._

'That is an utter fabrication. I don't know how Ronald Weasley dares say such a thing. Knew I ought to have kept him a bit longer…arrogant, insecure little brat.'

_It's not as bad as that. After all, Dad behaved stupidly during the war—he told me so. And if he could be stupid, even briefly, it proves Uncle Ron isn't that bad—right?_

'Whatever you say. You have a great deal of family loyalty, I notice.'

_Yeah—but I hate work, so don't even think about putting me in Hufflepuff._

'Hmmm….I'm forced to agree with your assessment. You prefer the interpersonal aspects of learning to the technical, labor-intensive ones. I'm afraid that rules out Ravenclaw as well—you're definitely on the extroverted side of the spectrum.'

_That's right. So Gryffindor's really the only choice, right?_

'Wrong. You're forgetting the most controversial option—Slytherin.'

_No way! That is so not me!_

'Nonsense. You enjoy politics, which is definitely a step in the right direction…you're bright enough not to get caught in an outright lie…you've got a certain ruthless practicality, and you're certainly ambitious…'

_Sure, but most of that points to Gryffindor, really. There's more than one way to be ambitious, after all. I don't plan on crushing everyone in my way._

'Neither do a surprising number of Slytherins, you'll be interested to note. Let me say that your logic is impeccable. Perhaps I ought to reconsider Ravenclaw…'

_If you're telling me I could succeed anywhere—well, anywhere except Hufflepuff—won't you at least think of how lonely I'd be in Slytherin? My entire family is in Gryffindor—including Albus. And I'm not the type who works better alone. Or at all, really, but I'll adapt. You know you want to put me in Gryffindor. If nothing else, there are four people after me in the queue, and if you put me in Slytherin you'll have more Slytherins than Gryffindor this year, which hasn't happened since the days of Marhut the Menace and Yardley 'Slasher' Platt._

'Impressive argument. Although I exist to break records like that. Still, you're quite brave—all this business about adapting at the drop of a Hat—pardon the pun!—and your ruthlessness takes a fiery, rather than a cold and vengeful, form. Just don't lose that calm reasoning prowess in—'

_Just don't get any ideas at the last minute. I wouldn't trust you as far as I c—_

'Shut up, you perverse child, you're getting what you want—no, don't think, don't even breathe for one more second—

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	30. Rose Weasley

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. We now move on to the NEXT GENERATION section. Please note, I WILL be doing Fred and George Weasley (as well as Tom Riddle) at some point. Bear with me through the next gen characters. I'm quite fond of some of them...like Rose :)

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"Weasley, Rose!"

--

'Intelligent, just like your mother. She was a difficult one to Sort. Still, it worked out well in the end—apparently she and your father rendered Harry Potter invaluable assistance during the war. I couldn't believe it when I heard she actually destroyed one of the Founders' precious objects, even if Tom had appropriated it for nefarious purposes…I mean, she was just so morally rigid, if you know what I…'

_How can you be so exact in your Sorting? I mean, surely there are years where fewer people belong in Slytherin and more in Hufflepuff? Just by the laws of probability…And yet it's almost entirely even, isn't it? I mean, there are three people after me, and unless we're all in the same House, the numbers are going to be pretty similar. _

'Your parents are quite the pair, you know. I never would have predicted them as a couple, back when I was Sorting them. They're both so stubborn.'

_If the numbers are uneven, where will they put the extra beds? And even if the magic of the castle can fix that, it still doesn't make sense that a given group of eleven-year-olds would divide perfectly evenly into four groups. In fact, my House should be determined by the first letter of my surname—or, if not mine, at least whoever that girl is who's last in line. Where can you put her but the House that needs one more student?_

'Okay, that's enough about your parents—sorry about that, it's just such a fascinating group, your parents and Harry Potter. You have a keen intellect, you're very curious, and you want, more than anything, to understand the nature of the universe.'

_Also, Gryffindor House is a lot more popular, since the Battle of Hogwarts. It has to be, because everyone hates the Slytherins, and since Gryffindor and Slytherin are the most similar of the four Houses, some of the people who ought to be in Slytherin can choose Gryffindor instead. Which means Gryffindor ought to have approximately three eighths, or possibly five sixteenths, of the student body, instead of one fourth. Clearly, wizards have no grasp of simple fractions. And they really don't understand logic._

'Wow. There's only one place for you, young lady—

"RAVENCLAW!"


	31. Lily Potter II

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. We now move on to the NEXT GENERATION section. Please note, I WILL be doing Fred and George Weasley (as well as Tom Riddle) at some point. Bear with me through the next gen characters. I'm quite fond of some of them...

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"Potter, Lily!"

--

'Hmmm…you've a fine mind, a fierce determination—and you've suffered, haven't you? Intriguing…'

_Are you here to psychoanalyze me? I don't know why you bother. You might as well put me in Gryffindor with the rest of the family._

'Gryffindor? My dear girl, they'd bully you unmercifully if I did any such thing!'

_They'll do that anyway. _

'Bitter, are you?'

_You know what Rose has gone through—or perhaps you don't, since James told me you spend all year in the Headmistress's office, and Rose has probably never set foot in there. She's such a goody-two-shoes; I think that's what bothers Uncle Ron the most, honestly. To hear him talk, you'd think rules were invented by What's-His-Name—You-Know-Who. In fact, it's a wonder he and Dad and Aunt Hermione didn't get kicked out of school long before they finished defeating the forces of evil. If one can ever finish defeating evil. It's ridiculous._

'I see. I Sorted your parents—Harry Potter. I always knew he would go far…'

_Okay, that was a great trip down memory lane for you—ready to Sort me now, or should I go on to describing my aunts and uncles and their issues?_

'Oh, yes, of course. Not Gryffindor, eh? I suppose I understand your point of view. You'd make an excellent Ravenclaw, but I can see that you'd get bored somewhere along the line.'

_I know where you're going with this._

'They'll teach you to protect yourself, if nothing else. Yes, it's here that you'll find your real friends—

"SLYTHERIN!"


	32. Hugo Weasley

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. We now move on to the NEXT GENERATION section. Please note, I WILL be doing Fred and George Weasley (as well as Tom Riddle) at some point. Bear with me through the next gen characters. I'm quite fond of some of them...

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"Weasley, Hugo!"

--

'You're rather quiet. Aren't you going to tell me to put you in Gryffindor with your entire family for seven generations (I have it on the best authority), or in Slytherin with Miss Potter? Or Ravenclaw, with your sister, I suppose.'

_I—don't know. That is—Lily and I did make this pact, way back when we were five and James was going to Hogwarts for his first year, but that was before she got Sorted into Slytherin—not that there's anything wrong with Slytherin, of course—_

'Ah. You have more tact than your father.'

_That's just it: Dad. If I got into Slytherin—well, he had a hard enough time dealing with Rose the Ravenclaw. I'm just not sure he could take it. _

'And you don't want to hurt your father. Or Miss Potter. Or Miss Weasley. You're wary of causing trouble, and you often take on the role of invisible cousin in your large family. When that doesn't work, you hide your true feelings behind a veneer of humor and good nature. You're quick to pitch in and help your cousins, aunts and uncles, while at the same time you hope they don't discover your secret: that you're not nearly as tolerant of and patient with their foibles as they imagine.'

_So? What are you saying? Are you calling me a liar?_

'You are certainly deceitful enough for Slytherin—you could join Miss Potter there, but it would make you miserable.'

_How about Gryffindor? That's what my dad wants, even though he's careful never to say anything._

'Ron Weasley? Careful?'

_Hey! That's my father you're talking about!_

'Ah, loyalty. No, my young friend—Gryffindor would only crush your creative spirit. There, you really would become invisible. And Ravenclaw is home to too many wit-sharpeners for an altruist like yourself. No, there's only one place you belong—'

_What? All by myself? That's hardly fair!_

'On the contrary, it's where you will learn not to be afraid to be yourself. Now cease your unreasonable complaints. I'm the Sorting Hat, and I know these things. Understand?'

_…all right, if you're sure I won't make a total fool of myself._

'Would I steer you wrong? No, don't think a single word, and let go of your inhibitions in—

"HUFFLEPUFF!"


	33. Lorcan Scamander

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. We now move on to the NEXT GENERATION section. Please note, I WILL be doing Fred and George Weasley (as well as Tom Riddle) at some point. Bear with me through the next gen characters. I'm quite fond of some of them...

* * *

"Scamander, Lorcan!"

--

_Is this the part where you dig around in my psyche and tell me what I'm thinking?_

'Well, yes. I'll also Sort you into the appropriate House.'

_Okay. I'm glad we know the plan. Go ahead._

'Magnanimous. You sound like you're about to go to the Healer. A little enthusiasm wouldn't be too much to ask—you'll be spending seven years with your House, after all.'

_I know. It's just…my parents already do a lot of psychoanalysis. And since my brother and I are the ones they see most…he's really quiet and I don't think he pays attention much, so I'm the one they—anyway, I've already heard everything there is to know about me, at least second-hand._

'I doubt that. You're intelligent…not very subtle, though…'

_Heard that and that._

'Ravenclaw? I'm afraid not, You wouldn't enjoy it—you're much more of a practical sort. Hufflepuff? No…you're not nearly self-effacing enough. And the lack of subtly rules out Slytherin. There's only one place you belong…'

_Are you sure? I don't feel very brave._

'That's what they all think. I've been doing this for longer than you can imagine. Now, off you go—see if you can stop taking yourself so seriously in—

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	34. Lysander Scamander

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. We now move on to the NEXT GENERATION section. Please note, I WILL be doing Fred and George Weasley (as well as Tom Riddle) at some point. Bear with me through the next gen characters. I'm quite fond of some of them...

* * *

"Scamander, Lysander!"

--

_Do you suppose it's possible to enchant the floor to show different layers of the earth, all the way from the lake that runs below the castle, to the center of the planet, the way the ceiling shows the sky? _

'I really couldn't say. You have a lively imagination.'

_I guess. Maybe I'll ask a professor later. After all, if we can see the stars, why not the Earth?_

'Why not, indeed. Hmm…you're quick on the uptake, no doubt about that…and you do have a fine subtlety which would stand you in good stead in Slytherin…'

_I do think it's a pity Hogwarts doesn't offer a more comprehensive science curriculum. Mother says the Magical Sciences are all based on observation, like Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures, which is important, of course. But all the big Wizarding theories about how the world works are based solely on Divination, Astronomy, or History. No one ever tests to see what's really going on beneath our feet, all around us, all the time._

'So, you're an idealist…Gryffindor, perhaps?'

_I hope Lorcan understands more after we've been to class. He gets so tired of my theories. _

'Family loyalty—how about Hufflepuff?'

_I just don't see why he isn't fascinated by all there is to know in the world. Considering all the theories and ideas people've had since the beginning of time, and then Mother and Father discovering new things all the time…I feel like I've been waiting forever for this day. Not that we don't have a marvelous library at home, but I can explore there whenever I want. There's so much to do! So much to discover…do you think the Headmistress would mind terribly if I just borrowed a few things from the library tonight? I—_

'Okay, okay, I give up! You are remarkably like your mother.'

_Thanks, Hat! _

'No choice, no choice at all…don't forget that your peers can teach you, in their own way, quite as much as your textbooks. Do branch out a little in—

"RAVENCLAW!"


	35. Altaira Malfoy

**WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!  
**

**If you don't like anything slightly non-canon, skip this and the following chapter. They are the Sortings of Draco Malfoy's daughters, who have not been mentioned by JK Rowling. Non-canon alert! We'll be back in chapter 37 with CANON characters! And now...**

* * *

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. We now move on to the NEXT GENERATION section. Please note, I WILL be doing Fred and George Weasley (as well as Tom Riddle) at some point. Bear with me through the next gen characters. I'm quite fond of some of them...

* * *

"Malfoy, Altaira!"

--

'Intriguing. You have a fine mind, yet you're very emotional.'

_You don't think those go together? That's not very twenty-first century of you. And it's not like I'm throwing a tantrum about the way people keep mouthing my name and scowling. So, call it restraint._

'I will. Where to put you?'

_Oh, please. Like you don't already know._

'I don't Sort on demand, so if this is about your family for generations and Slytherin—'

_I meant, it's not like you haven't already got an idea where everyone's going to go as soon as you see the whole class. What if you Sorted the first twenty people into Hufflepuff, and then realized the last twenty really had to be there, too? For example. How many first-year dorms can they have in this place?_

'Ah, yes. Definitely a logical mind. I should probably put you in Ravenclaw.'

_Feel free._

'On the other hand, there's always Gryffindor…but no. You disapprove of their recklessness. You're really very careful about things that matter to you.'

_Duh. Isn't everyone?_

'Might you learn a bit about diversity in Hufflepuff? I'm afraid not. Their optimism and good spirits would only drive you further into your bitterness.'

_Whatever. I don't care where I go._

'Yes you do. In fact, you rather like the idea of disappointing your parents—or at least your grandfather—but not enough to urge me to put you in Gryffindor just because.'

_Yeah, so? I don't want to be in Gryffindor. Just look at them. Now those are people who get up disgustingly early and rouse the entire House while they're at it, just for kicks. And Ravenclaw's full of loners who never do anything but read, write, and read some more—it's a wonder their vocal chords still work—and Hufflepuff! Just look at them! Imagine all the community service projects they rope an innocent bystander into._

'So you want to be in Slytherin, I take it? Makes sense, after that little corrosive speech.'

_Not really. They're just as bad—noses in the air because they think they've got something no one else does. Really, if they did, they wouldn't need to show off all the time. And 'my dad's family's purer and coffers're fuller'n yours,' is hardly interesting the fifth or sixth time you've heard it. _

'Oh, yes, I know just where to put you…'

_Excellent. Took you long enough._

'Branch out a bit—and remember, not everyone is just trying to get ahead—in…

"SLYTHERIN!"


	36. Vulpecula Malfoy

**WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!  
**

**If you don't like anything slightly non-canon, skip this chapter. It's the Sorting of Draco Malfoy's younger daughter, who have not been mentioned by JK Rowling. Non-canon alert! We'll be back in chapter 37 with CANON characters! And now...**

Also, Vulpecula is in my story 'Slytherin-Free Zone.' **  
**

* * *

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. We now move on to the NEXT GENERATION section. Please note, I WILL be doing Fred and George Weasley (as well as Tom Riddle) at some point. Bear with me through the next gen characters. I'm quite fond of some of them...

* * *

"Malfoy, VULpe-CUla!"

"Er. It's VulPECula. Actually. Professor Longbottom. Sir."

"Oh, sorry, Vul-Vu-V—Miss Malfoy."

"S'okay."

--

'Well. That took guts.'

_What can I say? I've always been brave. Heh. Seriously, I'm used to people messing up my name. It's a constellation, you know._

'Indeed. Let's see where you belong.'

_Slytherin, right? With my sibs? My entire family for generations? Both sides? All my parents' friends, their kids…everyone who's anyone except the War Heroes, but that's different. _

'Hmm. You could probably handle Slytherin, but it feels like such a waste. You're optimistic and cheerful—Slytherin would only bring you down—turn your smile upside down.'

_Ooh, rhymes! _

'Quite. I suppose Hufflepuff might be right…But no. You're cheerful and loyal, yes, but hard-working, no. You would get bored. Ravenclaw…well, you probably could fit there…you think about things the right way.'

_I probably get that from my mother. Still—and don't take this the wrong way—I feel like Ravenclaws never have any fun. At least in Slytherin everyone gets in trouble periodically. I mean, Scorp doesn't, but most people do. You know?_

'In that case, there's really only one place for you. You enjoy getting in trouble, you're brave, you're optimistic to the point of ignoring reality…'

_So…Slytherin?_

'Definitely not. Enjoy yourself in—

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	37. Bill Weasley

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. Done with the Next Generation! Moving on to the Weasley sibs who aren't Ron and Ginny. And back to **Canon**!

* * *

"Weasley, William!"

--

'Well—you're very brave, aren't you? And so practical…Perhaps Ravenclaw?'

_No way—I want to be in Gryffindor like my parents. And my uncles. They died in the war._

'Ah, yes, of course. Hero-worship. Perhaps you belong in Hufflepuff?'

_Besides, the Ravenclaws look a stuffy lot—did you just say Hufflepuff? Absolutely not! _

'Why not?'

_Hufflepuff's for duffers, everyone knows that!_

'On second thought, I daresay you're too shrewd for Hufflepuff. And there's a nice dose of prejudice, as well…perhaps Slytherin? You're quite cunning, although not as ambitious as you could be…'

_Slytherins are evil. I mean, just look at them!_

'You are hard to please—definitely picky enough for Slytherin. Not quite intellectual enough for Ravenclaw, not nice enough for Hufflepuff…definitely the one or the other.'

_But I belong in Gryffindor! Where dwell the brave at heart!_

'And the reckless, the foolhardy…Still, I think you're right. Your excellent practicality will stand you in good stead in—

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	38. Charlie Weasley

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. Done with the Next Generation! Moving on to the Weasley sibs who aren't Ron and Ginny. And back to **Canon**!

* * *

"Weasley, Charles!"

--

_Gryffindor._

'Now, why? Could it be that you don't want to be separated from your brother? Ah, yes, indeed it could, but that's not why you really want Gryffindor, is it?'

_I belong there._

'Do you? After all, I see a great deal of ambition here, oh yes…and you're certainly passably intelligent…hard-working, but only when it suits you, and sometimes not even then…'

_Look, I don't care where else I'd be a great fit; we both know that Gryffindor's the place for me. I'm brave, I'm chivalrous—I hold the door for Ginny and Mum all the time, that counts, right? And I'm—_

'Reckless? Just slightly, very slightly, suicidal? I know, I know. Still, we can't forget your ambition—you want to face danger and conquer it, perhaps make it a part of you…'

_So? That's pretty brave, right?_

'Pretty brave…yes, I suppose it is. I still say you'd probably be safer in Slytherin—if there's one thing they teach you there, it's how to look out for yourself. But that recklessness—'

_Exactly! And I'm not a sneaky liar, either! So there!_

'Very well. Just try not to kill yourself in—

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	39. Percy Weasley

Author's Note: For the Conversations with a Hat Challenge. Done with the Next Generation! Moving on to the Weasley sibs who aren't Ron and Ginny. And back to **Canon**!

* * *

"Weasley, Percy!"

--

'Well. You are ambitious…already planning on the Minister of Magic job, I see.'

_So what if I am? You think I can't do it?_

'I didn't say that. You're not as confident as you pretend. You're willing to do what it takes to get ahead, and you have a proper value for tradition. Yes, I really should put you in Slytherin.'

_No, you shouldn't. I'm a Weasley! The twins would never let me live it down!_

'But Slytherin is so perfect for you. The intrigue won't bother you, and you'll learn something about juggling divided loyalties. I certainly can't put you in Hufflepuff; you're much too selfish! And Ravenclaw involves a higher level of abstraction than you'll ever reach! And Gryffindor—'

_Why not Gryffindor? I'm brave. And I bet I wouldn't be the first person 'perfect for Slytherin' whom you sent to Gryffindor. From everything my brothers say, it sounds like Gryffindor and Slytherin are two sides of the same Galleon, after all._

'You do have a point there…'

_And yeah, I'm ambitious. But it'll be harder for me to deal with that in Gryffindor, where everybody's all, heroism for heroism's sake, and maybe I want to be challenged. Maybe I want the chance to grow into someone more than who I am at age eleven. Ever think about that?_

'If you really want to grow as a person, I suppose I ought to send you to Hufflepuff, as the place where you least belong. Still, I can't deny that you've made some excellent points—your political ambitions are seeming more plausible all the time.'

_So you'll do it—send me to Gryffindor?_

'I just hope you don't regret this; you'll have to work twice as hard to be noticed, you know. Still, who am I to deny a student a challenge? Be careful what you wish for in—

"GRYFFINDOR!"


	40. Fred Weasley I

Author's Note: Hey, sorry about the long wait! Anyway, here's the next installment!

* * *

"Weasley, Frederick!"

--

_This hall is so big, I bet it'd make a really terrific place for a fireworks display! Or maybe—I know! Food fight on brooms—like Quidditch, but tastier. I can't believe we're finally at Hogwarts—it's a fitting spot for our genius!_

'Our genius? Ah, yes, the brother. Well. You certainly are confident. Where to put you?'

_Gryffindor, of course. Everyone knows they're the best._

'Do they? You're really too creative for them, you know. They'll only narrow your mind, and that would be a pity, what with all that 'genius,' wouldn't it?'

_They won't 'narrow my mind'! I'd never let someone else do my thinking for me! Besides, you said yourself I'm confident, and Gryffindor's the house for brave people, and that's like the same thing, so—_

'It most certainly is not! I see you suffer from a certain recklessness. Set against that admittedly Gryffindor characteristic is your ambition. I might consider you for Ravenclaw, but your intelligence does not lie in that direction. Hufflepuff would never recover from the advent of someone like you. Slytherin, on the other hand…'

_You want to put me in Slytherin? Don't you realize how much that'd cramp my style? I mean for starters, Bill and Charlie and Percy'd never speak to me again—well, Charlie would, because he's a decent sort, and Bill is too, really, but Percy—I dunno, maybe he'd—but that's not the point. _

'Then what is?'

_George isn't going to end up in Slytherin. That's not who he is. And besides, the Slytherins don't look that accepting of thinking outside the box to me. Gryffindor's where I'll have the most freedom to be creative, like you said._

'Perhaps. But you could go far in Slytherin.'

_Yeah—like to the other end of this hall and all the way back to the Burrow at a sprint! I'd rather be with ickle Ronniekins and baby Ginny than in __Slytherin._

'Very well. Take good care of yourself and your schemes in—

"GRYFFINDOR!"


End file.
